Scourge of the garden

Bishop's weed, gout weed, snow on the mountain, Aegopodium podograria.
It doesn't matter which alias it has decided to use to hide its hideousness from the unwary, it's still the variegated PLAGUE!
Eradicating this beast is Mission Impossible because it DOES irradicate.

One small sprig 20 years ago - still here. Leave one, tiny microscopic piece behind and you're doomed. Urghhh!

Don't even think it won't creep out of your rock garden. It will chuckle as the roots slip a foot deep beneath that boulder and pop its ugly head up on the other side. It's a curse!

NO, it isn't pretty.
NO, it doesn't brighten up a shady spot.
NO, it doesn't stay contained just because you're planting it in hardpan clay.
NO, it doesn't care if there's a drought (It will sacrafice the leaves to keep the roots alive).
NO, it doesn't care you popped it in a bog.
NO, it will NOT stay in a container (You might get lucky for a few years).
NO, it doesn't care you've planted it in the middle of a concrete contained, acre wide parking lot (Have seeds, will travel).
NO, it doesn't care your fingers are bloody from ripping the crap out of the ground.
NO, it doesn't care you're showering it lovingly with RoundUp.
NO, it doesn't care you've slaved over that perennial bush/shrub/vine/flower for 50 years, it will happily kill it.

Please people, please, for your own sanity - don't nicely send seeds, swap it, buy it, plant it, or even think this plant would look nice anywhere!

Personally, I think it's some kind of a sick, twisted Garden Gods joke. NOT funny.....