Who Are These Shows For?

I've had lots of rants lately, but I can't help it. I bounce around the channels a lot on Saturdays, usually trying to find something garden related to watch.

Inevitably, I more than not end up at HGTV. (Yeah, they really, really need to delete that G). I mean, there isn't much else on anywhere near gardening mode, is there?

I have a large bone to pick with HGTV...I mean really, WHO, exactly, are these shows geared toward anyway? My idea of a good time is not watching a show where I could do little more than drool over anything they're putting in.

Landscapers' Challenge this morning: "With a budget of only 75 thousand dollars..."

My eldest daughter almost choked. "Seventy-five thousand dollars!? Who does that? Who spends seventy-five thousand for a freaking dinky backyard?! I don't know anyone who has a house that cost that much!"

Exactly! I didn't bother to tell her that that budget was a tad on the low side for that show-it's sometimes in the hundred thousands. She probably would have had a heart attack instead of simply sputtering trying to get the few words out she did.

There are a few more shows along the same vein, but I can't think of them right now. But-

WHO does that? Who is HGTV trying to target? What's on their send-in application?: "Only millionaires need apply-proof of checking account balances mandatory"?

Obviously these shows are not intended for the average Joe. Hmmm...I'm not sure millionaires are hanging out in their living rooms on a Saturday morning, remote in hand, worrying about just how they're going to make that 20'X20' backyard look like, well ... a million!

Hey, HGTV, get over yourselves and get back to shows for 'normal' people, will ya?! I'm sick of being disgusted with your 'upper-crusty' people and budget choices.

Besides, I can think of much better plants and building materials to spend that kind of money on. And even have change left!

Ha...I'd completely forgotten about my gardening show rant back in November.

Crash - Bang!

I innocently sat on the pond bench yesterday morning gazing at the drooping, thirsty plants and whispered, "I wish it would rain."

Hmm...me and my big mouth.

Oh, it rained - did it ever - and threw in 4 bouts of ice cube sized hail to boot. Lightning hit the pond and actually killed the GFI box. I tossed and turned all night worrying about the koi, but there wasn't anything to be done about them until daylight. The pump is presently running on an extension cord until DH can run to the hardware store and get a new box (figures he'd have overtime this weekend). ~sigh~ Thankfully, all heads counted and they seem all right, though it looks like I'm getting the evil-eye occassionally, and no bent backs. At least they were all smart enough to duck the hail.

I haven't checked what leaves on the veg and flowers have been shredded, I don't have the heart to right now.

I imagine the kids will be sleeping in this morning. The storms weren't quite as bad as the tornados last year, but between the constant hail, lightning and storms (6 inches of rain) that kept training over us for 8 hours, we're all a bit exhausted. But, hey, at least it finally rained...right?

Upsetting Thy Neighbors

There are many reasons to adore living way out in nowheresville, and the first on my list is no neighbors close enough to really care what I do with my yard.

(Besides the witch who walks by daily with her nose in everyone's yard just to see what she can turn them into the town for. Nevermind she doesn't even live in my town! But that's another story.)

Why are people so up in arms about what other people do in their own yards? I could care less if my neighbors had an emu farm - oh, that's right, they really do! (interesting animals, though lacking a bit in the personality department, and I thank them for the fab poo.)

I mean really, if they're not doing something that is going to physically endanger someone else's welfare, who gives a crap? Don't like their yard, don't look at it.

I wonder if all this will eventually fall into some very strange 'rule' category: "I don't like those pajamas she wears on Saturday morning while weeding the front flowerbeds!", "That ridiculous orange hose he uses to water the veg is unsightly. My property values will plummet with that thing coiled across the lawn!", "There is a magenta bench on their front porch! Magenta! It clashes with the red salvia in my yard and must go!"
Ok, so those examples are a little extreme. :) These aren't:

When ‘Weed Laws’ Make Homeowners Outlaws

In court for 'obnoxious growth'

Bloody nose for having a dry lawn

Despite Its Benefits, Natural Landscaping Is Still Under Attack

Let it Go Wild: On the Subject of Uncut Grass, Native Plantings, and the Education of Neighbors


Just maybe, this guy gets it:

No More Mowing

"The mayor of a small town in Kentucky stopped mowing his lawn in 2005. He has put up a sign on his property that reads: “There are more important things in life than tall grass.”"

Crocs Being Banned

Crocs are being banned from hospitals and schools - they are now considered a health hazzard because of the holes.

That's interesting. Good thing all those gardeners who couldn't live without them can wear whatever they choose to in their own yards. Well, at least for now.