Tuesday, November 14, 2006

A Last-Ditch Effort

Dear Mother Nature,

Sorry to disturb you on your vacation, but I need a quick word. (Must be your vacation time, right? Because, otherwise, I'd rudely assume you were slacking off).

We've seen the sun a total of three days in the last month. What's with that? I personally find it a bit absurd.

If I wanted to live in Seattle with tons of rain and gray, why, I'd pick up my impatiens and move there. And I may be getting ahead of myself a bit, but come January, could you not assume I'd just absolutely adore a stint Alaska?

Honestly, you seem to be a little off-kilter these days, Sweety. You might want to get in line early for your flu shot this fall. (Oh, right, what fall? You seemed to have forgotten exactly what you used to make it). Don't you agree that almost nine inches of rain over what you provide in a normal year is a bit much? You can turn off the faucet now. Really. Should I find you a plumber? How about a cup of nice green tea to lift your mood?

Yes, Dear, the grass is green, but it has stopped growing, you know. In case you haven't noticed, everything is floating. Puddles are nice but ponds are an annoyance, as is my flooded cellar. Moss is lovely, but I honestly don't need it growing on my siding.

I apologize that I didn't get every single weed yanked from the flower beds this year. Really, I do. I promise to be more vigilant next year. My elderly neighbor just wasn't able to keep up with her's this year, but I helped her out a bit and shared some divisions with her, so it didn't look all that bad.

I do hope it wasn't the sunflowers that grumbled about my lack of care, but I know how fickle they can sometimes be. And, yes, the clematis (Those little back-stabbers!) might have had a little too much shade this summer, but I've already explained to them that it will be taken care of promptly come spring. (Oh, I do so hope that season is penciled in on your 2007 calendar, Sweety).

So, when your beach, daiquiri, red umbrella and cabana boy time in Aruba has expired, could you please see fit to put some sun on the schedule for the Northeast? I'd be eternally greatful!

Looking forward to your reply,

A pleading, mossy-thumbed gardener.

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3 comments:

Petunia's Gardener said...

And here in Seattle, we've just had a visit from the Pineapple Express straight from Hawaii. Not the sun you might be thinking of, but warm weather and tons of rain. I'm ready to get back to our usual drizzle!

Kerri said...

Oh you're hilariously sarcastic! It was a nice try, but I guess maybe you just made her mad...disturbing her little holiday in Aruba...shame on you! :)
I think you might be quite close to us. Would you use the e-mail in my profile and let me know where you are? If you'd rather not, that's OK. I'm eternally curious, and when I find a blog friend who lives in the same part of the world, I get excited :)
I guess Blogger Beta is letting you comment on non-betas now? I'm really curious about Beta, but don't want to spend hours messing with it...yet. I need some reassurance first from friends who've had success with it!

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